Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash

Pull out your phone and read over the last few weeks of texts with your wife. If those texts were to be used to grade your marriage’s health, how would you rate on Love? Open communication? Intimacy? Godly leadership? Closeness? Deep conversations? How would your marriage as a whole rate based on your conversations?

Shepherding your wife and showing her love isn’t about just the big holidays, it’s about the everyday and the mundane. Being a godly leader is about redeeming the small moments and always trying to point yourself and your family in the right direction - toward Jesus’s open arms.

Too often we as men are terrible at being godly leaders who are in tune with our wives. One of the best things we can do to help foster an "in tuneness" with them is to spend time thinking about them. What is she good at? Where does she excel? Take those positive thoughts and share them with her! Doing so helps us redeem the small moments of our marriages for God.

Even when we’re doing good at being in relationship with our wives, it can be hard to come up with things to say to her. We want to guide her in her walk with God while we grow in ours. We want her to know we appreciate the hard work she’s put in to become the person she is today. We want her to know that we appreciate her intellect and enjoy conversing with her. We want her to know that we love her beauty inside and out. We want her to know that spending time with her is refreshing and enjoyable. We want her to know that she’s safe to express her emotions and opinions around us. Yet all those things can get hard to put into words. All those thoughts get clogged in our brains and never make it out of our mouths.

To help you get your mind working, here 31 text ideas to get you started. These are just 31 ideas to show your wife how special she truly is:

1)    I love you!
2)    I like you!
3)    I enjoy spending time with you.
4)    I can’t wait to see you!
5)    I’m looking forward to our date.
6)    Thinking of you brings a smile to my face.
7)    Can we spend the night talking like we used to? I want to hear all about what’s on your mind and heart.
8)    Thank you for being so good to me!
9)    Hanging out with you is one of my favorite things in the whole world.
10)    Your presence lights up the room! Can’t wait to see you tonight!
11)    My favorite character trait of yours is ______.
12)    I love how creative you are!
13)    I love how much you love Jesus. It inspires me to grow in my faith too!
14)    Seeing you parent our children is comforting, I know they’re in good hands.
15)    I’m so blessed that you said "yes!"
16)    I appreciate how you are always thinking of how we can grow in our walks with God and each other.
17)    What can I do to make your night easier? I really want to help.
18)    Wish you were here with me right now.
19)    Your work ethic is amazing!
20)    I really admire your ability to ______.
21)    Let’s make tonight all about you. *winky face*
22)    I know I sin a lot in our marriage, and I want you to know I’m working at being the man God has called me to be. Thanks for being patient with me.
23)    I’m prepping my arms for a long, warm embrace when I see you next. I suggest you do the same. Otherwise it will be lopsided. Don’t ruin this for me.
24)    I smile like I’m madly in love whenever I get a text from you.
25)    I read (Bible passage) and was reminded how much you embody (virtue she excels at).
26)    I’m striving to be the kind of godly man for you that we desire our sons to be and our daughters to marry.
27)    Why don’t you call (friends she likes to hang out with) and see if she wants to do (thing she likes to do) tonight. I’ll take care of the kids tonight.
28)    My day is always brightened by you.
29)    I read about (topic she enjoys), let’s talk about it tonight.
30)    I’m glad our daughters have you as an example of how to live, and our boys have you as model of who to marry.
31)    I’m a more godly man because you’re in my life. Thank you for helping me in my journey!

Let me leave you with a challenge, men. Don’t stop here. Your wife is special and your marriage is important. Let her know you value her with your words and your actions. Put love into action. Don’t make her have to guess your feelings toward her, instead make it known clearly and boldly so there are no lingering doubts.

Don’t stop here… press on with texting her and telling her why she’s special and why you love that God brought you together.