What did you Expect? by Paul David Tripp
Everyone’s marriage morphs into something they didn’t intend it to be. At some point you need something sturdier than romance. You need something deeper than shared interests and mutual attraction. You need changed expectations, you need radical commitments, and, most importantly, you need grace.

If you’re reading this, I bet there are things in your marriage you did not expect. There are tensions, disagreements, and disappointments in your marriage. How do I know this? Because you’re spouse isn’t perfect, and neither are you. You are a sinner married to a sinner.

Most marriages don’t become a disappointment overnight. It happens through the slow process of erosion. It happens in daily decisions to put priorities on the wrong things. This book was written to help you identify and correct those decisions. It is designed to help you see where your priorities have shifted away from that which is good.

Why it’s good

Troubled marriages are repaired vertically before they are ever repaired horizontally.

This book is good because Paul Tripp gets real. He shares his own story along with the stories of several couples he’s counseled. He shows where they failed and how you can make better choices.

The practical examples make it easy to latch on to what Paul is saying and think through how our own lives mirror that situation. Tripp has a great way of repetitively repeating the same point over and over while making it seem new and different and friendly. This repetition helps make that truth stick with you, so you can bring it to mind whenever you need it.

More importantly, this book is good because Tripp keeps the focus on God: you’ll never fully repair an earthly relationship if your heavenly relationship is broken.

Why it’s good for marriage

A marriage of love, unity, and understanding is not rooted in romance; it is rooted in worship.

Your marriage isn’t about you. Your marriage is about worship. The sooner you realize that and act accordingly, the better off you’ll be and the more you’ll be able to find peace and joy - even in chaos and hurt.

In this book, Paul Tripp tells it like it is. He points out your faults and failures. That may seem daunting… but in pointing out how you have failed, he gives you a tangible way to begin to restore your broken marriage. Far too often we focus on how others have failed and how they’ve hurt us. That focus is short sighted. We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves, and this book will help you do that.

How to read it

Grab the study guide and begin reading the book. Each section of the study guide is 1-2 chapters. Read the chapters and find the characters you identify with, Paul will use Scripture to point out exactly where you need to change. Answer the study guide questions and come together with your spouse once a week to discuss what you learned and what you’re planning to change about yourself.

Dive in and let the word of God and Paul Tripp’s personal writing style work on you. This book will change the way you look at your marriage and each other. Buy a copy HERE and dig in.