Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard

Date your wife. Such a simple statement but it requires a lot. This book challenges men to understand the purpose of marriage, where problems in their marriage lie, and how to consistently and creatively pursue their wives. I love this book on many levels. It challenges me to remember that Ashley is a God given gift for me to cherish. The issues addressed show me areas of my life where I have gotten complacent in my relationship with Ashley. It gives me tools and tips on how to be intentional with her in big and little things.


This book is good because it’s short, smart, and helpful. It is not a daunting read, but the questions are pointed and made me think as a husband to how I love my wife. As a foundation, he points to a husbands relationship with God as the foundation for how you can love and pursue your wife.

Men, you will not pursue your wife well until you know the God who pursues you. The Bible is the most romantic book in the world. The Bible, the gospel, is God shouting: "I loved you, but I lost you, and I want you back."

It’s easy to get focused on how I can care for Ashley, but really I need to see and realize that my best love for her comes from understanding and living in response to how much God loves me. Buzzard also challenges husbands to have a vision for their marriage.

Husbands should be big dreamers. Men, you should have a bigger dream for your marriage than your wife has for your marriage. You are the leader of your marriage. And men, you should have a bigger dream for your marriage than you have for your work or any other responsibility or interest in your life.

Welp. Thanks for that conviction, sir. It’s helpful because he doesn’t give every answer to his questions but he gives great advice for how to be intentional and start dating again. He talks about dating your wife as a mission of Air War and Ground War, big and small ways to be consistent in showing your wife love and care. These are very needed and practical reminders as a husband to show Ashley that I think she’s the best.


The whole premise of the book is that marriage isn’t the end of a conquest but the start of a grand adventure that we are called to enjoy.

“What you really want is a marriage that feels like a mission, a marriage that’s moving forward toward something exciting, mysterious, and grand—kind of like the way dating felt.”

Because marriage is worth the work, there is a challenge to every man to evaluate themselves and see if they are bringing conflict, selfishness, pride, or laziness into their relationship with their wives. It’s not easy to read this, but it’s honest and helpful.

Throughout the book, Buzzard shows how much your wife should be valued, which will change the amount of dates and the cost for said dates. I will say, this will be an expensive book. Looking at it honestly, it’s a great investment, because I’ve got the opportunity to show my love to Ashley every time we go out. That’s well worth my time and money.


This is a great book for men to go through with another husband (or future husband) that holds marriage in high value and wants tools to make it better. This would be good to do with a small group of husbands who are willing to help each other through the questions. You could read the book over 6 weeks by reading two chapters a week. There are practical projects and dates that come up in this, so keep that in mind with your time.

A really helpful section in the book is the 100 ideas to Date Your Wife. I read through it, and then asked Ashley to read through the ideas and highlight her top 3. They were not even close to my top 3 (!!!) but it was great to see new and exciting ways I could love and value my wife.

Husbands, read this book. It’s not too late to start dating your wife again. This book has gotten more helpful for me the more times I read it. You should buy it here!

Your marriage is worth the work.

Do you have a book you enjoyed for marriage? Comment below!